May 24, 2012  · 

I went out in the front yard with intent to kill. I read the directions on the Round-Up weed killer first. Dallis, yes, that is how it’s spelled, is that UGLY grass that has been ruining my yard. I have plenty left in the sprayer, so ANY I missed will stand out that much more for the next spraying. I am a peaceful person, and I don’t like to use vile substances. But I dealt with the mowing last summer of the weeds…I’m sorry Dallis grass…you MADE me do it!

May 23, 2015

Going to see neighbor Annette Richey in the hospital and take her parents and her children. She had surgery on her brain yesterday to correct a spinal fluid pressure problem, inserting a shunt which tubes to her stomach to release the pressure when it rises. She had new types of seizures after the surgery, so they have to do some testing. Sometimes I think she’ll never really be well or right. She needs to raise her children. Her mother is doing the best she can, but it is hard. I try to be there for them as much as I can.

May 23, 2018  Abduction

I went willingly. They took me to a room and put me in a chair. Suddenly…the interrogation light blinded me. They came at me with sharp, pointy instruments. Then, a mysterious syringe! I was ok until they started waterboarding me. My next visit is June 6, and it will be too soon for me! 

May 23, 2019 

“Tearless hearts can never be the herald of the passion of revival. A dry-eyed church in a hell-bound world will never have revival…..a cheap, flaky, shallow, slipshod, visionless, burdenless, tearless, prayerless, self-centered and a crossless Christian philosophy that permeates the landscape of modern church culture today will never ever take it to a higher level. You cannot build a skyscraper on a dollhouse foundation!” from an 81year old Vesta Mangun.

I find that this woman has an amazing spirit, whether one agrees with her or not. There is something poetic in her expression here.

May 23, 2019 

David Arvin Andrus was born February 6, 1909 in Rusk Texas. He married Elsie Jewell Brightwell May 26, 1933 when he was 24 and she was 18. He was shot and killed in Henderson Texas February 1 1934 just days before his 25th birthday. The death certificate classified it as homicide and names a hotel where it happened, but it is illegible. It’s a story buried in time, but Elsie Jewell Andrus married Antonio Roddy Mora August 6, 1934 and we knew them just as Roddy and Jewel Mora in Kaufman!

Have a chuckle–

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them).

1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you … but it’s still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up — we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, “In case emergency, notify…” I answered “a doctor.”

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

18 We worked very hard to child proof our house, but the kids still got in.

19 Went to visit the Air and Space Museum, but there was nothing there.

Writing a memoir

Sometimes the hardest story to tell is your own. Melissa Febos teaches in the nonfiction writing program at the University of Iowa, and she joins host Krys Boyd to discuss writing her memoir, walking the line between vulnerability and over divulgence, and to offer guidance to other aspiring writers on how to begin their journey. Her book is called “Body Work: The Radical Power of Personal Narrative.”

This episode originally aired on Mar 17, 2022

The fire in our souls

I don’t favor a fire to destroy such a beautiful place as Notre Dame, but I understand Christianity enough to say this. God does not look down to see what marvels we have constructed. Everything the New Testament teaches says that God is interested in what is in our hearts. Do we do for those who are sick or in prison even? Do we attend to our neighbors and love them? This has been the truth all along, and not what human kind has tried to make it. It’s just a thought, but what is in our hearts is what really gets God’s attention! If you do know this, allow your life to show it. If you do not know this, you are to be pitied.

The following insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words:

1. “He had delusions of adequacy ” Walter Kerr

2. “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”- Winston Churchill

3. “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. – Clarence Darrow

4. “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

5. “Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

6. “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

7. “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

8. “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde

9. “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

10. “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response

11. “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here” – Stephen Bishop

12. “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright

13. “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

14. “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson

15. “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. – Paul Keating

16. “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

17. “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain

18. “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

19. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

20. “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

21. “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

22. “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx

23. The exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.” He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

24. “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” – Abraham Lincoln

25. “There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” — Jack E. Leonard

26. “They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” — Thomas Brackett Reed

27. “He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.” — James Reston (about Richard Nixon) —Robert L Truesdell